Rob

How can I possibly put my feelings into words about Rob? Never has a man made me laugh so hard, cry so much, share so much, and fall so deeply in love. In one moment he infuriates me to my last nerve, and in the next moment I am a starry eyed swooning teenager. When we first started, the road was rocky, to say the least. We worked together at Cross Country (the only good thing I got out of that job was meeting him) and started out as friends. He was dating Dawn (whom I have renamed "she who shall not be named") and I was dating ....... - - - jesus who was I dating? Damn it's tough getting old. OH! I remember! Raven! Yep leave it to me to date a man who LEGALLY changes his name to Alucard - Dracula spelled backwards.
OK back on track.
Rob. So we would go to lunch, chat about relationships, friends who happened to be of the opposite sex. And then Christmas came, and with it the holiday party at work. Now I swear to God you will not believe me - but I asked Rob - as friends - if he wanted to go together and share a hotel room - to save money.......... Quit saying "yeah right you were hoping to get some!"!!! I am serious! See your reaction? thats just the reaction Rob had - although I was such a dingbat I didn't get it. So he agrees to go and we motor north to Burlington to attend the event. It's snowing, freezing cold - his heater doesnt work in his car - and we are running really late. We have like 10 minutes to get ready and get downstairs. I am flitting around getting dressed in front of him - totally treating him like one of my gay friends and forgetting that he has never seen me in underwear. He says he has something for me - and pulls out a corsage. Sheepishly he says "My mom says when you take a girl to a dance, you get her a corsage. It's good manners. ". This is three huge red roses with evergreen - a ginormously huge wrist thing which totally does not go with my dress at all. I wonder for a moment if we've reverted to high school, but then realize it is one of the sweetest gestures as I cannot remember the last time I got flowers at all. So down we go to the party which is in full swing. We sit with some of his work colleagues, one of whom is staring at me with daggers. WTF? I think until Rob leans over and says "oh yeah about her, well she sort of has a thing for me and I think she's mad that I didn't ask her." WONDERFUL. So the dance goes on we have a nice time then retire upstairs to our ** two bed** hotel room. As it turns out we did *sleep* in separate beds. So we start to casually date for a bit and then....I don't know I just wasn't feeling it..... Mark and I - who were roommates - start considering the possibility of dating. So being upfront, I tell Rob, who looks totally crestfallen but wishes us the best and gets us this big card for two great friends. Turns out Mark and I are not meant to be, so I'm back to being single and no Rob. Some times goes by and I am moving from Medford to Somerville. Haven't talked to Rob in like 6 months, maybe more. I have the old phone on for like a week while I finish up my move. Day the phone is being turned off at the old place I call for messages one last time - and lo and behold, there's one from Rob. So I call him back, and we agree to get together for a drink at my new place at the end of the week. When he gets to my place he is bearing roses - red roses, three of them as I recall. "You were always such a sweet girl", he says to me. So we begin dating. I meet his parents, whom I adore. He meets my gay friends, who grow very fond of him. He meets my family. I meet some of his, those whom he gets along with. We attend weddings, parties, social events. We are a bona fide couple. We even say the L word to one another. Still cautious creeping along. Friends and family start to drop hints about "our future". Rob panics, and we reluctantly agree to part ways as he has no idea when or if he will be ready for marriage and I am pretty much measuring myself for a veil. Worst week of my life not with him. He emails me to tell me how sorry he is and I call him. We agree to go to nuetral ground - the beach - and talk it all out, both of us a bit misty eyed. OK I was a blubbering idiot. And since that talk last year, we havent' been apart from eachother for more than 2 days. We talk every day - sometimes more than once. We always end our phone calls with "I love you". Even if we are angry. Somedays if the mood strikes him he mentions marriage as a "when" rather than an "if". Which is why the whole Phantom, strawberries and wine in the hotel thing (see May post) had my knees knocking so hard - I thought POW this was it. Not so much - but that's OK. He's not going anywhere, and neither am I.