Conversations with an uncle....

OK to set this story up I was asked to handle the estate sale of my great aunt, by my uncle. Those of you who know me know that this is a really large project, but Rob and I were asked and, well, we really did not feel that saying no was in our best interest. As they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. The chain of emails below have been edited to remove personal information, but remain intact otherwise.

It all started with this last week:
Afternoon all. Attached is the one page document I am posting at work for the Estate Sale, happening next Saturday the 25th in Wellesley. Feel free to post copies to generate interest. I will also be posting this notice on Craig's List next week - too early and it gets lost. :) May do a Boston Globe notice as well, dependant on price of course. I will be going to Wellesley this weekend (Saturday the 18th) to get everything ready. Anyone who is free Saturday who would like to lend a hand, I will gladly accept it. :) ~Love Andrea

Unk replies:
Andrea OK - The Auction House took far, far, more than I ever thought they would -- I attach the two auction Inventory files. Yes they took the rugs. The Auction is Monday 24 April in Methuen. The French provincial twin twin bed set (whole set) in S's bedroom is still there - as is the two living room love seats - give em away if you have to. Good job on the flyer - you will have early-birds - you need to get there early - Do you plan to hold the "estate" sale inside only or inside/outside? Auctioneer says that you will probably get some customers simply because it is an "estate" sale in "Wellesley". Are you planning local street signage? Advertise, advertise, advertise - I have gotten a call from and talked to P (across the street) - They are very interested in buying the house - I did give them the yard sale date - so you may see them for another purpose (they want to look around the inside) -There may well be others (curious neighbors) who want to do the same - My feeling is that this is OK as long as one of us escorts them. Re: talking about the house during the yard sale ... my feeling is ... ok if you have to ... what you see is what you get, good points and bad ... KISS ... don't talk about price ... listing will happen when court papers are complete ... take names and numbers and we will call at listing time. I sincerely hope to be able to list in very early April. UNK

My comments:
Hi UNK! Thanks for the list WOW they did take a lot of stuff! Of course I am expecting early birds which is why I am planning to be there all day tomorrow to be ready....that way next Saturday all will be set to roll so we do not turn away paying customers. :) I will be doing limited local street signs complete with arrows directing the way given the cul de sac and being off "the main drag". I will claim ignorance with regards to house price, as I am truly not in the know, and that could be a good thing. :) I will of course have a sheet to take interested names and numbers for your perusal. Are you planning to be there yourself on 25 March? I also plan to bring lots of ones and change, people want deals at these things, and we want the stuff to go. Love Niece PS Happy St. Patrick's Day! :)

Unk's comments:
Andrea Happy St. Patricks day to you also ...OK on being there tomorrow, the 18th; I will not be. Regard to the 25th we probably will probably drop in for a short time anyway. Ones and change is good ... anything over $0.01 may be a profit we shouldn't pass up. BTW - the wicker furniture (2 chairs and 2 tables) was ours - we consider it trash - since most of the chairs are gone you can use them or sell them - whatever - I do not know how you plan to set up the sales area but if you could "contain" traffic to the living room dining room and porch/garage it may make life a little easier for you. This would mean moving items from the den / front bed-room (back bed-room is empty) into the living room. The den items are light-weight and easy and perhaps you could take one of the white bed-room dressers and use it to "block" the hallway entrance while putting a sign on it saying that an entire two-twin set is available for viewing if someone asks. Just an idea .....When it is all over .... the trash - trash should go into the garage and everything else in a pile for Bob Severino.Unk

Then I sent both my uncle and mother - the temporary guardians of the estate - this email earlier this week:
UNK and Mom - do you think this is worth it? I posted a listing on Craig's List for free.... with that and the signs going up on Saturday morning, and the family advertising, do you think we need to pay these prices to the Boston Globe??
1. Place a Print and Online ad now!Place a 4-line 7-day Market Basket Real Deal Ad for just $83. Ads over 4 LINES are charged an additional $2.90 per line per day.
2. Place an Online only ad now!Place a 2-week Market Basket listing on Boston.com for $15-$30 (depending on category). Write as many words as you like!

That simple email generated this:
Andrea I think that the responsibility of leading or managing a project includes studying the pros and cons and making the tough decisions yourself not passing them off to others. UNK

I replied:
UNK - Well allrighty then. I don't think $83.00 is worth it given what's left at the house. There. I made a decision. Just thought I would loop you in, but no worries. I made the tough executive decision. Have a wonderful evening, and I will see you on Saturday. Also, I will be bringing down my accounting of expenses mileage and time to be reimbursed for the first quarter of the year to give to you on your arrival. Andrea

So then my Dad chimed in, after reading this response:
Been thinking of what to say to Hugh. How's this sound? Its subject would be - Management 101-A.: Thought I'd add my 2 cents. There are many management styles. One of which you adhere to which I will call the John Wayne style: "I'm in charge, I'll make all the decisions, right or wrong. I don't need any input from anyone. Now, let's charge up that hill and take out that Jap machine gun nest."Another is a consensus style where we'll all sit around a table and talk it out until we all agree. This can be a good but takes time and not a good style if you're the captain of the Titanic.Another style is "I'm in charge, but I value the input of my team. I will make the final decision" This is a good one that fosters respect of all the team and makes everyone feel that they are in fact part of a team and not just a cog that is being ordered around. Not the style that fits for all situations, but does work very nicely. I believe Andrea is using this style and she should be commended for it. She is the only "kid" who has come to the plate to help with M, S and K. She should be encouraged not criticized for trying to ask for input.What do you think?

In the meanwhile my uncle responded to my reply (above my dad)
Andrea Great - I knew you could do it! You are closest to the situation and therefore the best one to make the decision. I have found over many years that it is best to - make decisions to the best of your ability and - only then - inform who-ever you need to or want to of that decision. Believe me when I say that most people in management are appreciative of every decision they do not have to make. If they do not agree with your decision then they will be the first to tell you; 99% of the time they will be silent and glad you made it. Right or wrong by the way. Snippy replies are us - UNK

At this point I had had enough.
Unk - I am well aware of management roles and leadership given my role as a mentor and senior staff member here at my FT job. I was more keeping you involved, a mistake quite frankly I will not make again. I was not passing off a tough decision, rather getting input and making an educated decision, something that a good manager does. Listen to the team and gain valuable insight and perhaps advice on how to better complete a task to the satisfaction of all concerned parties. I do this every day, I assure you. And I do not agree that there is a 99% silence rate. But that's just me. Balancing wedding planning with this estate sale and working full time has not been easy. But I did it, and will complete the task to the best of my abilities as I gave my word that I would do so. I will see you at some point on Saturday. Please also forward me contact information for Bob Severino as well as the trash guy so that I may tie up that loose end upon the completion of the estate sale. Andrea

This morning, I see this from my dad.
Andrea,Based upon your response, I really don’t think it’s necessary for me to add my 2 cents. You did it in spades! Nice job.Love,Dad


Should be an interesting Saturday, dont you think?
~A