Many have said I should write a book. Or at least store these random thoughts somewhere. So here they are.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Dirty Christmas

Top 10 Things That Sound Dirty at Christmas But Aren't

10. Did you get any under the tree?
9. I think your balls are hanging too low.
8. Check out Rudolph's honker!
7. Santa's sack is really bulging.
6. Lift up the skirt so I can get a clean breath.
5. Did you get a piece of the fruitcake?
4. I love licking the end till it's really sharp and pointy.
3. From here you can't tell if they're artificial or real.
2. Can I interest you in some dark meat?
1. Well, if you can't get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall.

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