Started out with me working OT on Saturday. Then A Spectrum event in Perfection. Precision. Whatever the name of the place that Sharrie lives. So Rob and I motored north with Sarah and Matt, who are
almost the most adorable couple in the Spectrum. Much merriment ensued, with marvelous beverages being concocted, Bobby's Big O sauce laced meats cooking, and delicious side dishes cluttering the counters. Our favorite paparazzi, Trinity, started taking pictures - which were really not that bad - and then the serious drinking started. And that's where the problem began, for Rob, at least. My beloved made a fatal mistake - he mixed. With disastrous - one might say explosive - results. Sharrie's front yard may never fully recover. Remember the infamous scene in the Exorcist. Well there you go. After about an hour of this, Rob came in to the house, shamefaced and sore as hell. Thank god for my friends who all were very comforting and helpful. The Spectrum rules. PS - I owe Sharrie a Hazmat suit, Matt gets a gold trophy, Lauren gets a new pair of clogs, and Kaitlyn will get a Special gift befitting her Special status. :) Ah true friends. I heard a great quote : Good friends will bail you out of jail. Best friends will be seated beside you saying "Wasn't that fun?" pictures posted shortly.
Addendum - Sharrie's blog entry which I am STILL laughing about.
Spectrum Gathering
And so this past Saturday marked the event of one of the many, the few, the proud gatherings of "The Spectrum".The evening started out innocently enough (as it always does), with the makings of liberal libations. The nights theme was reflective of our love of all things alcohol (naturally), and we decided upon a "vodka" themed evening. Each member of the spectrum brought with them, a flavored vodka of their choosing, with a mixer which was to consist of a carbonated beverage of some type. Preferably one that matched the vodka they were bringing. We ended up with: Strawberry, Citrus, Vanilla, Watermelon, Rasberry and plain Absolut vodka. It was, to say the least, a most entertaining evening. The entertainment began, with myself, and Lauren (the newest replacement team member of 'The Spectrum' for Kaitlyn), creating various vodka fizzies for herself and Kaitlyn, Sarah and Matt and myself. Andrea brought some delicious Godiva Chocolate liquer as well as Bailey's and Raspberry vodka, as she wanted to try her hand at Chocolate Raspberry martini's. After all hands were full, I left to walk the dogs with Sarah and get some ice. Upon return of the usual dog walk, we enter the apartment (Perfection) to find it smelling a very odd smell. Thinking that Bobby had burnt something, we find the apartment basically empty-except for Bobby who quickly dashes out of nowhere to tell me that "Kaitlyn lit the cat on fire!"Kaitlyn appears (somehow also out of nowhere) and begins to defend herself saying that she didn't light the cat on fire, that she put the cat out, from being on fire. Yes folks, you heard that correctly. The cat (Watson), was on FIRE.Having wanted the apartment to smell delightful for the spectrum, I had indulged myself with a purchase from Yankee Candle, which happens to be one of my newest addictions. I purchased a stockpile of "Clean Cotton" candles and had strategically placed them throughout the house (lit of course) to make sure things were smelling... well... clean.One of the said candles, was placed on the weird shelf/mantle/piece of wood thing that is by my kitchen table. This piece of wood/mantle/shelf thing is something that the cats have grown accustomed to walking upon to find their way to the kitchen counter, without having to endure the torture of the dogs sniffing their asses and pouncing on them. An indignity that I am sure I would wish to avoid, would I be a cat (or otherwise, now that I say it). Anyway... the poor fucking cat, innocently finds his way up there, and as I am understanding it... as he strolled by the lit candle his tail and consequently his ASS lights on fire. At first, Kaitlyn didn't notice-and apparently niether did Watson. It wasn't until his asshole lit in to flames that he did, and so did she. Quickly she burst in to action and began to BLOW on his ASS, which to all involved, was surprising in its effect and actually put the flames out.I am not quite sure who was more traumatized, Kaitlyn or the cat as she looked as though her eyes were tearing when we returned and she recounted the story. I am not sure if that was tearing from laughter or for sympathy for my poor wounded animal that had just had its genitals on fire.Well the house stank of, as you can guess, burnt cat ass and thank GOD I had bought the candles because eventually they rid us all of the scent. Either that or we were all so inibriated that we really didn't give a fuck-as long as we didn't have to see Kaitlyn blow the cat again.Moving right along to the next event of the evening, we have Rob's impression of the Linda Blair in "The Excorcist". After having a few drinks in a power imbibe mode, prior to dinner, Rob proceeded to devour dinner in an almost alarming fashion. You know how you eat when you are really hungry? And you know how you eat when you are drunk? Now combine the two, and measure that up with really good food and you are in trouble. After eating the mass of food that we always seem to have at spectrum gatherings, he and as did the rest of us, proceed to wash down the nosh with more good fizzy vodka drinks.This is normally-very okay to do. However, not when you are in power eat/drink mode because the week you had was tough, and you're really having a great time, and the drinks are really tasting like soda, instead of an alcoholic beverage.Well poor Rob, he paid the price. The price we've all paid at one time or another... the inevitable and always humiliating, puking in front of a group of your friends. Oh yes, we had a 9.3 on the 10 point uker scale and Rob was at the absolute epicenter. I don't believe that my concrete outside will ever be the same, at least, not without massive bio-hazard decontamination and clean up.LOL... no one cared that he did. Everyone was actually, really concerned that he was "okay", as the quantity and chunkage factor that was being demonstrated was a bit more than average. But then again, I can't really see Rob doing anything half assed when it comes to having a good time. I did actually think at one point, that he would never come in, and although he did spend a good deal outside airing his head, he did eventually return after some coddling from fiancee Andrea, and the rest of us ladies. After some fresh air, a cool cloth, some clear soda and dry toast (with no cheese please), he returned inside to curl up under a comforter on the recliner and actually became coherent again. For this, I have to give up props. When I come to the stage of puking, there is no return for me, until about after 10 to 12 hours of sleep, massive amounts of water and a bottle of Ibu.He was back and in action, at least enough to talk about the status and 'rating' of all the girls tits at the gathering and then snored away to Pass out status. Good ole Rob. If there's booze, food and tits you've got a happy man.After the whole debauchal of puking, cat ass burnings and general over indulging of booze and bbq, we all proceeded to sit on the couch (while b played fucking cards on the computer like a total loner-whatever-whole other blog entry) and watch movies. I forget who the hell I gave the clicker to, but whoever I did, they found porn. Okay, not real porn, cineporn or whatever the fuck Matt was calling it... you know soft porn. And we WATCHED IT.HI-how's your inappropriate? I kept walking out of the room, because that was a little weird for me, but I was such in the giggle drunk stage that I couldn't look away. The funniest part was the color commentary by the crew, but mostly by Andrea, who obviously-watches it with the same humor that I do.Andrea commentary on a girl on the sofporn: "What? Oh why couldn't I answer the phone? OH I'm sorry I had a mouth full of cock."Best line ever.Matt: "I'd never get a girl that hot-this is so unrealistic."Andrea: "Uhm, excuse me, she's sitting right next to you."Matt: *dumb silence* "OH YEAH, well of COURSE Sarah's hot-but.. uhm.. uh.. well you know what I mean!!" *Turns red*Rob proceeded to snore through the entire thing, and I watched it with them and listened to the commentary until I all but pee'd myself and then decided it was time to make waffles. Because, I, know, that eating while drinking is the key to not getting massively uke-a-thon ill. Da da da da da 2am, I make Eggo Waffles and proceed to eat them and laugh and laugh at the porn, still in disbelief that everyone is watching it, laughing and still continuing to watch it. LOL.. too funny.All in all, it was a great night. No one got hurt (sans Rob's stomach/esophogus and head and of course Watson's ass), and everyone had a great time. We got to bitch about work and listen to each other, and vent. That was very much needed by all of us I think.I can't wait for the next gathering and hopefully... (hint hint Rob), no one will get sick.What we've all learned? We now know, "Where all the rum has gone."
Matt and Rob's American flag ass. :) Matt is bent over to accomodate the 4 year old photographer.
From Sharrie's most recent get together. Note if you will that I am sitting on the floor. Trinity is right side up - posing as always the princess - Sheridyn is visible only by her feet as she somersaults over me. The dog's ass is just the icing on the cake. Why can't I attract money like I attract dogs and children? :) I love this picture.
